Sometimes the most wonderful things can happen when your plans change.
I've been writing about my travels in Costa Rica for the past several weeks as part of my 60-day financial fitness challenge through my business, Mezclada, and feel like the way that my mindset has shifted over the course of the past 50 days or so is quite remarkable.
I was writing on the beach this morning, taking down all the notes of seeds that have been planted since I arrived in Santa Teresa at the beginning of January, and had one big takeaway that I felt was worth writing about here and publishing to share with others.
It doesn't matter if you have $10,000 coming in every month if you can't take off at 4 p.m. to go use the sauna.
I say this because I've set a goal to earn 10K/mo. through Mezclada and my consulting work. But I realized that where I'm living, the people I'm surrounded by, and the activities I get to engage in on a daily basis are worth that much if not more. I'd much rather be here and earning less than making bank and feeling completely alone or without anyone with whom I could share in my abundance.
Flexibility is freedom. Freedom isn't always financial, like I had been focusing on for the past year or so. I left a job I loved because I wanted more freedom of expression in my business endeavors, and I find that even while I am evolving in my perspective about what abundance, success, and happiness means, I find that others around me are still looping on thought patterns of lack, scarcity, and equating productivity with fulfillment.
Last night over a bowl of cauliflower steak, I lamented with a new friend about how I wasn't the 'ideal candidate' for what they are looking for in terms of volunteers to have on their farm. I've got a full-time job that keeps me glued to a computer screen for upwards of 40 hours a week.
And since coming here, I feel that I've been extricating myself from that system and expectation...that my days should be filled, and that true satisfaction comes from a job well-done. Perhaps it's because I had little to no social life, or the fact that I was living in a very small town in rural Minnesota, or that winter was in full throttle when I left...whatever the reason, or the contrast, life here has given me so much more to WANT!
It's refreshing to be asked at any given time in the day 'Are you working?' or "What's the plan?" or "When are you done with work so we can go surf?" My attention is being pulled away from the screen, on to the beach for sunset, watching beginning and advanced surfers, dipping in an ice bath and sauna almost daily, hiking in the jungle, into intellectually stimulating conversations about power and government, war, and the wonders of nature. I'm reading for fun again, and I don't feel guilty doing it.
My latest read, Anastasia, has me rethinking the entire purpose of my business, settling on something that's so much bigger than I realized. Both the book, and my business, are for people who recognize that all of these structures and systems that are out there just serve as a distraction from the truth, much of which can be found in plants, animals, water, geographic features, and even within our own bodies.
I'm being reminded that there's actually a lot more beauty to be had in slowness than in rapidity; that my days are much more enjoyable and pass by so quickly when each afternoon and evening is unpredictable but filled with laughter and adventure.
I'm shedding a lot of old thought patterns and habits that were keeping me trapped and limited in my own potential. And whatever doubts I had about 'being okay' financially, emotionally, or otherwise, are dissipating.
I have so many people to thank for allowing me to have such a transformative experience that's not even halfway over! To Pawan, for taking a chance on me without knowing much other than that I needed a farm to work on while maintaining my remote work in Minnesota. For reminding me that there's nothing wrong with not having a plan. To Tom, for inspiring me with his stories and fantastical ideas and vision for a farm that is surely going to change a lot of lives for the better. For your humility and generosity in giving me a place to stay when I really needed it. To the Lifeguard Gym volunteers, who are like a mini-family in their own and have inspired me with each of their stories of places they've traveled, making me laugh a lot. To David, for teaching me a ton of Argentinian slang and helping me refine my pronunciation in Spanish. For agreeing to be my dance partner even though I know that it's made you uncomfortable. To Martin, for showing me the magic of breath work and for interviewing with me for my podcast. I know you will continue to keep people from going to the dark side. To Ari, for making it to the top of the mountain with me and motivating me to continue practicing my headstands. I can't wait to see when you start working at a circus! To Magdalena, for your eloquent choice of words and your kind-hearted nature. For believing in my vision and working to find a way for us to collaborate. To Tom's crew at the farm, for your hospitality and amazing oats. To Juan Carlos, for calling me 'valiant' after harvesting honey and not getting stung once.
Here's the thing. You can want and desire and dream and wish all you want about the future and success and happiness and whatnot. But until you actually take the step of DOING IT, it's all just a farce.
I didn't plan on being here in Santa Teresa originally, but I know now why I ended up here.
I think the universe is giving me a chance to change the trajectory of my life. To stop playing by the bullsh*t rules that everyone else has said are 'acceptable'. And to manifest something even more exquisite and magical than I could ever imagine.
The question is, will I take the plunge into the deep end of uncertainty? Or will I fall back into old patterns?
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