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Why you should never turn down a wedding invitation




The Puget Sound on a blissfully cloudy day

2019 marks time in three years that I spent money on travel that wasn't related to work or school. Since 2013 I've been keeping this travel blog as a way to share with others my adventures and, more recently, tips and tricks on how to travel on other people's dimes. Today's post is about showing support for those you love by being there for them during one of the most defining moments of their lives. No, I'm not talking about graduating from high school, moving out of the country, or losing your virginity. I'm talking about the sacred, somewhat strange ritual we humans like to call marriage. I can say this having spent the last few months working for a catering company whose business is comprised mostly of weddings; 70 percent, in fact.

Weddings are fascinating microcosms of culture. You can tell so much by a couple based on who attends, how much they drink (if alcohol is served at all), what kind of music plays, and of course, the food that is served. A wedding is not complete without some kind of procession, the finest attire, some kind of floral arrangements, and family. There's toasts, too many aunts and uncles that make you feel uncomfortable, and not enough free wine. Yet the wedding itself, as much as it is a time to express admiration and gratitude for the presence of that special someone in your life, is a wonderful moment of self-reflection, and depending on where it's located, exploration. 

Getting to essentially be a guest at countless weddings over the past few months has given me quite a bit to think about. What do I want others to say about me when they give a speech? What characterizes the people I surround myself with, and what do we value, collectively? Surely it won't be the tag on the other women's dresses, or the height of their heels. I hope we'll have crazy farming stories to tell, botanical metaphors will flow left and right, the food will have a story, and no one will want to go home at the end of the night because they know that they'll never again experience something like this day. 

Right next to Chambers Bay Golf Course

Which brings me to the title of this blog post--why you should never turn down a wedding invitation.

By far, the best thing that I could have done for myself this year was make the decision to attend not one, but two weddings of my closest friends. It was the first time in a very long time that I ever decided to spend money on travel and not have it be sponsored by a university or other community organization. Most of my previous experiences have been funded through research, conference scholarships, etc., which has made them primarily serve some kind of academic goal.

But times are changing. I'm realizing that I don't want my academic experiences to define me and my future. And this should be reflected in how I spend and save my money.

This past weekend I traveled to Tacoma, Washington for one of my best friend's wedding. I knew that it would be a weird experience, not having to be the one passing apps and scanning everyone's water glasses to see if they were full. It seemed even more strange that I wouldn't be required to make conversation with those around me, and that I could get away with taking a stroll through the gardens in a fancy dress.

My first view of the Puget Sound. Literally took my breath away!

Travel is always a good time for introspection and dreaming. I mentioned to a friend the other day that my Permaculture Design Certification this summer is pretty much scheduled dreaming time, which is literally the BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD OF. Why don't teachers tell us this when we are younger? Even in junior high or high school I would have benefitted immensely from someone having demanded that I take 1 hour a week to dream. Just think about the future and what you want it to look like. Scheme away, manifest, and meditate until the forces shaping your life don't have any other option than to move in the direction you want them to. These are the words that would've had my heart singing, and if I had followed the advice, I may have taken a very different path in life.

Here's the great thing. You still have the rest of your life to dream. And no one can stop you from doing it. Never believe anyone who tells you you're too old or that your time has passed for doing crazy shit that no one expects of you. I think all of us are looking for that kind of authenticity in each other, so why can't you be the first one to take the plunge? Put yourself out there, and see what happens. I know I am.

Poppies!

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